5 Simple But Effective Ways To Let Go The Past And Move On
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~Marianne Williamson
You have been hurt before. One way or another. By someone you know or by a total stranger.
The pain overwhelmed you. You tried to bury the painful past deep down in your heart and vowed to never touch it again. But it’s hard.
You find yourself beating yourself up for some mistakes you made in the past, countless times you wondered how different your life would be if you could change one or two things in the past.
You might try to forgive those hurt you. But it was impossible.
You realized the best way you could look at their faces is to never see them again, pretending that you don’t know them and you don’t care. You do your best to avoid memories about them, but you can never forgive them.
But the thing is, that makes you unhappy.
You cannot live your life to the fullest potential. You cannot move on until you can let go the past.
Here are 5 ways to let go the past that you might find them helpful.
1. Acknowledge your painful past and how it impacts your life
You never want to think about your painful memories, because it hurts when you do. And I get it. But sometimes you need to revisit your past to realize how much it impacts on your life and give it the closure it needed.
Close your eyes. Let your memories take you back to the past when they happened. But this time, you play as a person in the passenger seat. You just sit there and watch. No judging.
Write down exactly what happened to you and why it hurt you so badly. Write down how you still feel the pain and all the situations trigger it.
By writing down, you can clarify exactly why you are hurt and separate yourself from your painful memories. This is the first step to remove that attachment and move on.
2. Accept that the past cannot hurt you anymore
What happened in the past stayed in the past. It cannot hurt you anymore, unless you let it.
Now, look at all the situations that trigger the pain that you are still feeling today. Those are the times when you unconsciously let your past hurt you.
Accept that you can have an alternative way to react to the similar situations without being hurt.
You were an outcast in high school and people made fun of you. You struggled through high school time. Now every time you see any of your high school classmates, you put your head down to avoid eye contact with them, and you walk away as fast as possible.
You are literally living in the past. But the past is gone. The person who was bullied in high school is gone. You made it through those hard times, it shows you strong you actually are.
Next time when you see any person from high school, nod or smile with them, and walk with your head up high like you really mean it.
3. Stop being the victim and blame others.
Sometimes being the victim makes you feel safe. Because it can explain why your life is a mess, and it allows you to be a messy person, because life made you this way.
You can blame it all on other people and to the world. You want people to feel sorry for you.
But here’s the truth.
Your happiness and your life are your own responsibility. No one can live your life for you. No one will feel so sorry for you that they will bring the world to your front door and ask which part of the world you want.
You have the control to choose how you feel and change your life. Stop playing the victim. Stop giving power to others to hurt you. You have all the power you need to turn your life around.
4. Forgive yourself and others
Once you realize you have the full power to change your own life, you can dig deeper into the past and forgive yourself and others. Don’t blame yourself for letting people wronged you, don’t blame others for doing so. Just watch and forgive.
Now that you don’t have to understand, sympathize or reconcile with the people who hurt you. But you still can forgive them.
Affirm yourself that you have the power to forgive others and yourself even though you don’t agree with what they did.
“I believe you are a good person but you didn’t know better at the time. You did something that hurt me. But I have the full power to decide how I will feel. And I decide to forgive you, so that I can move on and be happy with my life”.
5. Make a decision to let go the past
You know that you have the full power to keep dwelling on the past or let it go for good. Because you have a choice, and you have full control over your thoughts and your feelings.
Affirm yourself every day that you are worthy of a happy life, a bright future and self-love. And you have made a decision to let the past go.
Be aware of intruding thoughts. Acknowledge your feelings. Whenever you feel bad about some past memories, remind yourself that you have decided not to let it hurt you anymore.
Sometimes we are so familiar with the pain that we rather feel pain than feeling uncertain.
Why the uncertain?
Because we never experience a life without pain, we are afraid that we are not capable of it. Or worse, we are afraid that we don’t deserve it.
But dwelling on the past sucks the joy out of your life, makes you stressed and hurts your ability to focus and to push yourself forward.
Give yourself a chance to live your life to the fullest and let the past go. No matter what happened, you have the power to control your life now and you can create an amazing future for yourself.
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