Hail Moms: How A Child Can Change Your Life
“It’s a smile of a baby that makes life worth living.”~ Unknown
It was past 2 AM. I was in bed, awake. It was nearly 2 hours since the last time I woke up. And I had to wake up several times a night.
I turned around and stared at the most precious thing in the world. That treasure was sleeping tightly and I ran my fingers on his cheek, feeling his thin and smooth skin under them.
I’ve become a new mom of the most beautiful boy in the world.
Yes. A mom. Me.
It was not too long ago when I still insisted on not having a baby, just because I thought my life was perfect the way it was. I had a good job with good pay. I was on the edge of promotion. I had a hobby. I wrote every day, published posts on my blog and read motivational books.
And it was perfect, indeed. But now with a child, it is even better.
A child can change your life. All of my predictions on the diapers, food, milk, busyness become true, which were the reason I didn’t want a baby at first. But it is also crazy how I change my opinion about those things. I believe it was just because of looking at my boy, my old opinion just couldn’t exist anymore.
Here are just a few.
Food is no longer a pleasure, it is a duty.
I always love food (I mean, who doesn’t?) and I love enjoy my meal. I ate slowly, tried to taste all the flavors and nutrition that food gave me.
I haven’t had that luxury in a while, 2 months, to be exact.
I breastfeed. And God knows that women who breastfeed need to eat to produce enough milk for their child, except for those already have more than enough milk.
I didn’t have a lot of milk at first, then I tripled my food intake and my boy could finally get full from mommy milk.
Well, it is a no-brainer.
More input, more output. Mommy becomes a cow for real. And this cow can eat!
I no longer stop eating when food doesn’t please me. I still love food, but even with the food I’m not fond of, I do not stop until my belly is full. It is a duty.
Love-handle is just lovely, not nasty.
Having said that food is now a duty, I have love-handles now.
I was no model, but I was fit, super fit. My waist was 60 centimeters, and when I wear bikini, my abs are visible.
And now those abs are hidden beneath love-handles, and lots of them.
With my food intake, they are unlikely to disappear any time soon. But it is okay. Because when I see them, they are just lovely. They tell me that I am courageous enough to sacrifice my body for my baby.
I am strong.
Stretch marks are not ugly.
I saw pictures of many moms who had stretch marks. At that time, my thought was, “Eck. Why in the world they didn’t use some cream to prevent stretch marks?”
When I got pregnant, I made sure to use cream since day one. I wanted to make sure my skin stayed smooth and soft as before.
Things went well for the first 7 months. “So far so good,” I thought.
One day I saw a short stretch mark. One week later, my belly looked like fireworks.
I had stretch marks. Badly. So bad that my mom even shook her head when she saw my belly.
But now, do I care?
My stretch marks are still there, to remind me how strong I was to carry my baby inside me, while my belly was so heavy that I basically had to scrawl to go up the stairs. They remind me of the horrible itch I had due to PUPP rashes. They remind me of sleepless nights when I had to wake up every hour to take a cold shower, to ease the itch and soothe my skin.
I overcame them all. And my stretch marks stay to remind me that.
I was a warrior.
Baby comes first.
I was a self-centered person. I guess all of us are, at least at some level. I thought it would never change, I would always think of my benefits first.
But this change too.
I had to have a C-section as appointed by my doctor.
The thing with C-section is that you don’t feel the pain when they cut you open to get your baby, but the after pain is severe, in comparison with normal delivery. That’s what they said. They also told me not to get up too soon, because it might rip off the stitches.
But at that very night, when my boy threw up, I got up from the bed and sat there looking at my husband patting our son in the back. I grabbed the bed to hold myself up and my eyes became darker and darker. I knew I opened my eyes when the doctor came to check on our son, but I couldn’t see a thing. Only after the doctor said our son was ok, I let go and I fainted.
Poop is more urgent than your career.
My old self would shake her head in disbelief if she hears that one day, work means nothing.
I was not a workaholic, but I loved working. I loved writing, blogging, and my job. I also worked hard to get that bonus and that promotion.
A baby would slow things down. And I didn’t like that idea.
Now his poop is more urgent than my career. I can get that promotion eventually, but I need to do something with his poop right away.
You hope you will get the pain on his behalf.
The other day I took him to get vaccinated. When we were inside the vaccination room with the nurse, I saw the needles and my heart pumped hard. “Why are the needles so big? My boy is just so fragile!” I thought.
I actually asked the nurse to change it to a smaller needle, which, of course, she refused.
I held him in my arms, hoping that I would get the pain on his behalf, hoping that he would be fully vaccinated without having any pain or fever, and I would get the pain and fever for him.
Unconditional love. I finally get it.
You want to lock your child in a safe house.
Your life is an adventure. You love exploring new things and new experiences. And you want the same thing for your child. You thought you would let him expose to the world as soon as possible because it is good for him.
The truth is, you just want to build a safe house and keep him there. You just want to make sure he is fine, safe, protected and healthy. You couldn’t bear any risk when it involves him. And God knows you want to protect him forever. You want him to be strong but you just cannot put him out there to deal with the world.
Unhealthy desire, I know. But all mommies feel the same.
A child changes your life the way you never thought possible, for better.
You will never understand this until you have a child of your own. I know I didn’t, but I do now.
It is funny how protective you become when it comes to your child. He melts your heart with a smile. Even on the worst day, just take a look at him and all the storms are kept outside. Since he arrives in your life, your life goal change from being successful to keeping him safe and happy.