How To Effortlessly Shut The Crazy Voices Inside Your Head

negative self-talk

You have an enemy. Let’s call your enemy “V”.

You don’t remember when it started, but as far as you could remember, V was there already.

When you wanted to gather your guts to ask your crush to go with you to the prom, V made you hiccup and stutter. You ended up embarrassing yourself in front of your crush.

When you had to speak in front of a crowd, V made your palms sweat, your face red and your voice shaking. You looked like a fool in the stage.

When you had a perfect idea to solve a problem, V scared you to death so that you did nothing and watched the whole project fell apart.

When you wanted to make a move, V told you to stay put.

When you wanted to pursue your dream, V convinced you that you would fail and your dream is stupid.

All the time, you listened to V.

Who is V?

V is the voice in your head, the crazy self-talk that always shows you the worst scenario.

That crazy voice is driving you insane, makes your life miserable and makes you believe that you are a loser.

“I am such an idiot”

“I cannot get it done”

“I will never succeed”.

Why each and every one of us has crazy self-talk?

Believe it or not, our crazy V has good intention. V wants to protect you from all harms. V wants to give you tough love to prevent you from harming yourself in the future.

You feel bad and start calling yourself fat after eating too much cheesecake? V tries to get your body healthier.

Your face turns red when you speak in front of a crowd? V wants to protect you from getting hurt and laughed by your audience.

V convinces that you are a loser and stop you from chasing your dream? V doesn’t want you to get too much hope and then feel disappointed.

So V is your self-defense shield. Painful past experiences leave you vulnerable and hurt. Your mind tries to prevent the same experience from happening again by criticizing you. The more protected your mind is, the more powerful V becomes.

While it is wired to protect yourself in case of life danger, most of the time it backfires on us.

You see, everything you say to yourself matters. And ironically you often say negative things to yourself.

It limits your ability, robs your peace of mind and steals your emotional well-being. It can even lead to serious depression or anxiety.

So how do you shut it up?

Shut the negative self-talk once and for all

Acknowledge the negative self-talk 

Your mind is not innocent like you think it is. Every single minute, your mind is telling you stories, mostly about yourself. Much of your thought is on autopilot and happening so fast that we barely notice it. 

But if you cannot catch when your inner critic is speaking, you cannot make it stop.

The trick is you have to recognize your emotion. Your emotion is the trigger of your thought. So when you feel heavy and negative, whatever you hear in your head is your inner critic talking.

If you do nothing, it will keep bringing up evidence to make you feel even more down.

So constantly acknowledge your feeling, this way you can slow down your critic and negative self-talk.

Name your inner critic  

Your inner critic wants to hide from you. It is the shadow behind all of your mistakes and failures. It tells you stories but it also makes you believe that those stories are from you.

Naming your inner critic is a great way to separate it from your own identity.

Separate your inner critic makes it easier to acknowledge negative self-talk and make it possible to free yourself from its influence.

Accept your inner critic’s good intention and talk back 

Now you and your crazy self-talk are two different people. You appreciate that it tries to protect you, but you have the choice to listen or tell it to go away.

When you hear your inner critic starts talking, say “Thank you for protecting me. I am much appreciated but I can choose if I want to listen or not. Right now I don’t. So go away”.

Simply talking back and telling it to leave work wonder. You can immediately cut off the source of your negativity and start embracing yourself.

Replace 

It is very hard or nearly impossible to completely silent all the voices in your head. But you can replace your inner critic with a friendly ally, who supports and believes in you.

Focus on your good traits and recognize your accomplishments. Whenever your inner critic talks, tell it to go away and replace it with some true and positive statements. Let your friendly ally does the talking and brings up more and more evidence to support the positive statements you make.

The more evidence you can bring to replace your inner critic, the less it returns.

What will it be if you stop saying negative things to yourself

Imagine this.

You are about to make a very important presentation that will make or break your future. Your heart beats faster and your blood is pumped with adrenaline.

You wait for a voice to predict that you will screw it up.

But nothing happens.

Take a deep breath, you calm yourself down and you walk into the meeting room with your head up high.

Your heart starts to resume its normal heart rate, your face remains calm and positive and your give strong and firm handshakes. And you start talking. Your voice is filled with confidence and persuasion. Before you even finish your presentation, you already know it is a win.

And that’s what you can do with your ability.

Because you have what it takes. And nothing can hold you back now.

Sound impossible?

It’s not. You only need to stop the crazy voice inside your head. Good thing is that you do know how.

It requires hard work, it requires time. But you can do it.

Go ahead. Practice and go get the life you deserve.

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Mai Pham
 

Mai Pham is the founder of Live a Worthy Life. She believes we can recreate our lives. Her mission is to help you to ditch your stress, anxiety, and worries to enjoy life again.

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