Have you ever asked yourself who you are, what role you are playing in your life?
Are you a dedicated father, a hard-working mom, a struggling student? Or those are some masks you put on your face and pretend to be yourself?
Will you still be the employee of the year when your boss is absent, or you will be reading funny news while sitting at your table?
Or you will be laying down on your couch, eating chocolate and watching movies?
Of course, you won’t. Those times are the times you can finally relax and be yourself.
So why do we do what we are doing? Is that because we are supposed to do those things for the sake of life, job, marriage or whatever?
You think so. You need to play the role of a “good” person everywhere.
And you also think that’s how things are supposed to be.
Too many burdens on your shoulders, too many responsibilities you have to fulfill which make it impossible to take off your masks.
But have you ever wondered if those masks are good for you, and what would your life be without masks?
Three undeniable reasons that being someone you are not is not a wise choice
We forget the meaning of our lives
What is it that you want in your life? A big house, a high-paying job, a fancy car, luxurious vacations?
Or you want to wake up every morning next to the person you love, spend quality time with your loved ones and work on something you are passionate about?
In the process of pretending to be the best employee of the year to pursue a promotion and fulfill the big house dream, you also lose yourself when you never have the time to see your family.
We pursue things that don’t matter to us
You are labeled. Somehow.
People start giving you different names, titles, labels and expect you to act as if. And you try your best to satisfy them.
You go to the college in a field that you don’t have any passion. You apply to a highly respected company just to brag with people. You pursuit some qualifications to qualify for a promotion in a job you hate. You work your butt off to buy a house because “that’s what normal people do”.
You sacrifice what really matters to you to follow something you don’t even care.
We don’t live our lives, we just exist
Do you think you are living in the moment? Even though you are trying to be someone you are not, pursuing things that you don’t care, doing things that you have no passion for?
At the beginning, you feel things aren’t right, but you try to keep going through. You do things that people do and you convince yourself that’s the right way.
Day by day. Until you lose your spark, until you finally have an autopilot mode to keep you numb and keep going.
You are breathing. Your heart is beating. But you are not living. At least, not your life.
What it’s like when you decide to peel off your masks
Let me tell you my story.
My whole life, I had been letting people tell me around, doing different things, pursuing different titles for my career. I played it safe. I played the role of a dedicated and hard-working person. I was “nice”.
Until one day I woke up, and I felt sick in my stomach.
I couldn’t understand why at first, because it was so strange. I felt the urge to go beyond myself, to explore new areas, to try new things. But I didn’t know how to deal with it. I just knew that I didn’t like who I was, even if every people told me otherwise.
I wanted to break free, wanted to peel off all the masks I’ve been putting on.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to be honest with myself and others and speak from my heart.
And that’s exactly what I did.
No, it doesn’t mean I became reckless and ignore my duties. I just chose to be honest with myself and started telling others how I truly felt. And I stopped worrying about how other people think about me. I chose myself first.
I become more self-aware of my feelings and emotions
Since I started considering my emotions and prioritizing myself, I become more aware of it.
I realized I have blindly done many things to please others, while silently killing my soul.
I refused to go for a walk in the park with my husband to stay at home and do chores instead. I refused to discuss with my boss about my opinion in the fear that he might not like it. I couldn’t say no to anyone because I was afraid they would hate me.
No matter how much I told myself that I was supposed to do those things, I still had the bitter taste in my mouth.
I become more protected toward my inner self
I thought I knew how to take care of myself, because I take care of people. But since I discovered how I really felt, I knew I hadn’t looked after myself. I became more protected about myself.
I only have one soul, if I don’t protect her, who will?
I stop doing things that give me a headache and sick in my stomach. I stop saying “yes” all the time. I speak from my heart. And I start to pursue my dreams.
I become more focused and determined
I used to be a zombie. Kinda.
I used to mindlessly do things on an autopilot. I woke up on Monday, got to work, went home and felt like crap all week until weekends, where I felt a little bit more alive, and had Monday blue again.
I lost my goal. I lost my emotions and I lost my sparks.
Now that I can see things clearer, I know what really matters to me. And I become more focused and determined to follow my own path.
I become happier
This is undeniable. I care about how I feel, I choose to do things that make me feel good, and I choose to feel good no matter how the situation is.
I realize I can be a happy person if I just stop making myself miserable and be a victim of life.
The surprise outcome
After you just stop giving a crap about how people think or feel about you, you think they would hate you?
Because I was afraid the same thing. I wanted to blend in because of that. Maybe the fear of being an outcast and looking like a pathetic loner was the reason I was so concerned about my impression on other people.
Here’s the irony. They’ll like you even more than when you are a people-person.
People want to hear my opinion
Because they know I will be honest. Even though sometimes they will not like what they hear, but they know they need that. And they seek for my opinions. They respect me more and take my words into consideration.
Some people consider me as their role model and ask for my advice
You know the admiration you have for someone being so cool and fearless? I am that someone now. People want me to involve in their groups and their conversations. They listen to me speaking and tell jokes.
Some people even consider me as their role model, they come to me for advice and my response is to listen to their hearts.
Being true to yourself is the nicest thing you could do to your soul
Let me tell you a secret.
Your soul is your best friend. Who has been with you through all ups and downs no matter what? Who has been there for you every time you need? Who has been there for you since day one?
Yourself. Your inner self. Your soul.
No one else. Not all the people you want to impress. Not even your loved ones. Just you.
And there is only one thing she wants. You.
So stop being someone else. Give her what she wants. Give her yourself. Your true self.
Once you totally surrender to your soul, you will soon realize everything has been in the right place the whole time. And you are the one that keeps trying to mess it up.
When you are yourself, there is no hiding, no suffering, and no regret.
So what are you waiting for?
Peel off your masks and find yourself again. Now.