How To Be Happier: 20 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself
“You could not step twice into the same river” ~ Heraclitus
Life goes on and everything flows, nothing stays the same. No matter how many times you revisit the past, nor how hard you try to change the things you’ve done in the past, the past is already gone forever.
Today is the past of tomorrow. You cannot change the past and restart your life, but you can start today and create a new future.
Here is the list of 20 things we all do to ourselves, but maybe we shouldn’t.
1. Don’t waste your time to people who don’t deserve it
Life is too short and you always have the choice to decide where you will be spending your time. Don’t spend your precious time to people who only suck the joy out of your life.
If someone wants you in his life, he will make time and make room for you. You don’t have to compete to get a room in his life. Don’t force yourself into relationships with people who don’t treasure you.
2. Don’t run away from your trouble
No one is perfect and has no trouble. But face your troubles instead of running away from them.
It is not easy but it is so worth it.
Think about it, we cannot fix a problem in an instant anytime we want too. We are not born for it. In fact, it seems like we are born to be disappointed, sad, hurt, painful and failed. But that’s what makes you who you are today. And that’s the whole purpose of life.
3. Don’t lie to yourself
You can lie to others but cannot lie to yourself. Our life can only be improved when we take our chances, and the first and the most difficult chance is, to be honest with ourselves.
4. Don’t try to be someone else
One of the most challenging task these days is to be yourself in the world that is trying to turn you into someone else.
There are always people who are smarter than you, younger than you, prettier than you, more successful than you but they will never be you. Don’t change yourself in the hope to make others love you. Be yourself and someone will love you, someone worth it.
5. Don’t try to change the past
No one can move to the new chapter of the book if he keeps reading the old chapters.
6. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes
Doing something then making mistakes is much more effective than doing nothing. Every success is built on a big wall of failures. Every failure is a brick to build your success if you know where to put it.
In the end, you will be regret about the things you DIDN’T do rather than the things you’ve done.
7. Don’t blame yourself for what happened
We love the wrong person and we get hurt for it. We think it is our fault to love the wrong one.
The truth is, no matter how bad it hurts, it helps us to find the right people and the right things.
We all make mistakes and feel regret about our past. But we are not our past. And right now you have the chance to build your future.
8. Don’t measure happiness with money
We can buy many things with money or lots of money. But the most precious things in the world are free. Love is free, kindness is free, laughter is free and your dream is free.
9. Don’t find happiness in someone else
If you don’t feel content and happy with yourself, don’t expect other people to do that for you.
You must create peace and stability in your life before sharing it with someone else.
10. Don’t be lazy
Don’t hope that your future self will be wiser and better than you. Don’t procrastinate today’s trouble for tomorrow. You cannot stay still and hope that one day you will reach your goal.
11. Don’t think that you are not ready
When opportunities appear, no one feels that he is 100% ready for it. Because most of the times those opportunities require us to step out of our comfort zone.
12. Don’t compete with everyone
Don’t worry or rush when you see other people are getting ahead of you. Because you are in different shoes. No one has to go through what you’ve gone through and you don’t know what those people have to go through.
But it doesn’t mean you stop trying to be better. It means you should focus on breaking your own record every day. Success is a fight between you and yourself only.
13. Don’t envy
Envy means focusing on what other people have instead of what you already have. Stop for a moment and ask yourself, “What do I have that other people wish for?”
14. Don’t make yourself a victim of life
Obstacles and barriers in life appear for a reason. They make you jump, they make you turn left and right and draw your own path.
Of course, when they are in front of you, it is difficult to see their purpose.
But think about all the obstacles you’ve overcome in your life. They make you who you are today. You have overcome all the things you didn’t think you could survive from. And you are much stronger today than you ever were.
So laugh it out, stand straight and show the world what you are capable of.
15. Don’t hold onto grudges
Don’t live with hatred in your heart. You will only hurt yourself more than your enemies could do to you.
Forgiving and letting go doesn’t mean you condone their behaviors, but it means telling yourself that you will not ruin your life and your happiness just because of what they’ve done to you.
16. Don’t ignore the daily miracles
Recognize and enjoy the daily miracles in your life. Your heart, your body, your laughter, memory and moment with your loved ones, everything. For maybe one day when you look back, they suddenly become priceless that you wish you could only enjoy them once more.
The best moments in your life are when you spend time with someone you love.
17. Don’t try to make everything perfect
The world doesn’t honor perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
18. Don’t blame others for your life
As Jack Canfield stated out in his book “The Success Principles”, your life is your responsibility. Not 50%, not 60%, not 99% but 100% your responsibility. You and you only have control over your own life.
Only when you realize and accept this fact, then you can start turning your life around for the better.
19. Don’t worry too much
Worry doesn’t solve tomorrow’s problems, it doesn’t do any good, but it sucks the joy out of your life.
If you find yourself worried about something, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “How is it important in one-year’ time? Three-years’ time? Five-years’ time?”
20. Don’t be ungrateful
No matter what your situation is, wake up every day with gratitude for all the miracles in your life and around you. Somewhere else, some people are struggling to survive. Instead of thinking and envying others for things you don’t have, think of how blessed you are for all the things you do have.
If you are up to it, there is an incredible author who spent a year changing her life. And in her book, "The Happiness Project - Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun", she explained what she did and how it changed her life. With a fun and bright tone, this is not just a normal self-help book, but it is also a pleasant and relaxing book to read.